Most of us who grew up in the 50's usually sat down to dinner (we called it supper) with our families. With the inception of crazy schedules and fast food, that rarely happens anymore.
In reading an article in Time Magazine, I found that there many pluses gained from that time-honored ritual. Sitting down together at meals promotes balance and variety in kid's diets; a family builds its identity and culture in that legends and stories are passed down, jokes rendered, and eventually a wider world than the family is examined through the lens of the family values. In addition, younger kids pick up a vocabulary and a sense of how conversation is structured. They hear how a problem is solved, learn to listen to other people's concerns and to respect their tastes.
William Doherty who has written a book called The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties, says there is a contemporary style of parenting that is
overdulgent which treats children as customers who need to be pleased. Parents are willing to let dinner be an individual improvisation where there is no routine, no rules, the TV stays on, everyone eats what they want in this food court mentatlity.
Doherty writes about camp counselors who tell of kids arriving with lists of food they won't eat and who require basic instruction on how to share a meal. Even universtities are offering courses now in how to handle a business lunch.
Oprah had a family on recently who never ate together--dinner often consisted of stopping at 4 fast food places on the way home from work. The family kitchen did not have the most elemental requirements. And the family often spent over $100 for dinner each night of the week eating out.
I remember coming home for lunch during school. I believe there was no school cafeteria--so I walked the 5 blocks home and listened to Paul Harvey on the radio as my mother finished preparing lunch, and then we all sat down. My mother cooked much more than I ever did--I do remember that. Hamlin had no fast food restaurants then; I don't think they have one now besides Dairy Queen. It was really a treat for us to order hamburgers and french fries for a family meal.
But as Doherty wrote, family meals together defined our culture--especially those big family dinners on holidays. I want to remember more about them later.
What time is supper?
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