Monday, June 04, 2007

Fear and trust

David Rubio spoke again yesterday about fear. It is interesting in my life that fear and trust have coexisted in a kind of dance--one switching with the other as the lead depending on the challenge of the day.

Hearing all those fire and brimstone sermons growing up in which the preachers seemed to have special insights into heaven and hell scared me and if I think about them today, they still scare me. I have spent the last half of my life reveling in grace, however, and enjoying that feeling of trust and confidence that God loves me and wants the best for me in a love that cannot be rivaled.

I do not want to join the camp of many who seem to believe that everyone who believes will be saved, but I am not far from it--trying not to be judgemental and trying harder to give each soul the benefit of their doubt and ignorance. There is still that passage about the narrow gate that waggles itself in the back of my brain.

As one grows older, we get rather innured to the idea that sin is no longer a part of our lives--we are the wise, the sages who are looked up to and sought out for spiritual wisdom. It is a nice benefit of growing old; but, I don't feel worthy of those accolades because that temptation to sin beckons all ages. I am holding on to those glorious verses which sing of the love of God and trying to become wise.

Drat those hellfire and brimstone images!

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